May Madness

I continued to work hard putting in OverTime wherever possible to save that bulk of money to pay back my hefty loans back home not knowing that Time flew by so very quickly. It is halfway through the year and my life is now in auto pilot mode. I go to work and work and work whenever and wherever they need me. The modern day slave. The I-need-to-pay-back-my-loans slave. Slave to the Greenback Dollar. I hate it. I hate that notion. I know that I have prepared this year to work hard. And indeed I did that and will continue to do that.

So whenever I had the time, I drove out of the City and to other cities like Corpus Christi down at the Gulf of Mexico. I am a water person and I needed to see water. Water gives me a sense of tranquility. A sense of balance. I drove 2 hours to go see seawater at a beach. That was really dumb but it was well worth it. I was landlocked in the city and there were no beaches except lakes. And lakes are still surrounded by land. I need to see the sea. And I also enjoyed the driving. Cruising down on the highways and seeing unending land on each side is breathtaking. Well, that was my joy of the days that I don’t work. Finally.

Brussels Overdose

I went to Brussels thinking I needed a break again from everything that was related to work. I was lonely again I hated that feeling. I hated that feeling of talking to yourself and only you are involved in your own conversation. Brussels was a beautiful city within the oldest part of Europe. It was enriched with cobblestone, waffles, chocolate and lots of lace.

I had the occasional view of the country when I head out to beautiful towns of Brugge and Antwerpe. The country was filled with the tranquility of simple life and simple living. Lots of clean air filled with the thickness of its history embroidered with crisp picture-taking. Castles and more castles… cobblestone and more cobblestone…. I was honestly getting very intoxicated and was very ready to leave Europe right away. But I know that I was disillusioned with everything deep down. Getting away from the reality of living and trying to believe that deep down you need a holiday.

My Trip to Vancouver

My trip to Vancouver was more of a therapy than a holiday. I needed it. I needed to hear and speak Singlish without making any  effort to slang. I needed to be with someone I have trusted for a lifetime. I needed to be around a family. I needed to eat Chinese food and you have that in Vancouver without making any effort to find it.

I laughed everyday. I was talking non-stop. I was ventilating. I was drinking coffe and having cakes at cafes. I laughed. I spoke Singlish. I had my best friend with me. I had a feeling of family.

I needed to realise that I am Asian and I love every minute of it.When you’re in a foreign country, the harsh reality sets in when you realize you are trying so hard to conserve and preserve your Asian values.

When I was in Vancouver, I was surrounded by Singaporeans that had left Singapore for good. And yet in that house in the middle of Vancouver, Canada, you will hear Singlish yakking away. It’s hilarious but authentic. True Singaporean lifestyle. I had Malaysian food cooked by a Malaysian who left Malaysia for good. I had all the tastes of Chicken Rice, Eggplant fried with chilli, Laksa, Char Kway Teow, Prawn mee, Mee Pok all cooked in the middle of Vancouver, Canada.

I ate everyday. Only Chinese food of course. Dim sum, sushi and more dim sum cooked by true blue Chinese from China and Hong Kong.

I had the oppprtunity to go up to Whistler Mountain with Kiren. A day’s trip pf seeing the mountains and feeling and touching snow. Initially I wasn’t comfortable because this mountain was mainly the territory for skiers and only a handful like us were tourists. But we went anyway. We went there to drink wine on the snow.

A worthy day trip to the snow-capped mountains. This trip completely rejuvenated me. Psychologically, physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally.

I came back to the States, refreshed and able to work myself to death do me part again. But I was able to see clearly now.

I’ll Work Till Death Do Me Part

Today I realised I’m crazy. I’ll work till death do me part. I’ve been working everyday since December other then a sleeping day where I’m back from night shift that morning, I’ve been out working everyday in two other different hospitals. Alone and with only a few friends, my only source of distraction is work. Other than not working, I’ll be plagued with thoughts of home, family and friends. I’m really behaving like a foreigner immigrant, with characteristics of work in their blood.

All work’s and no play is crazy so I turn to travelling outside the city as a source of inspiration towards my insanity of work. The irony is I have no interest or want to explore the city that I’m actually living in. Such an irony where work destroys your interest and curiosity of this city because it is plagued with work and more work.

I’m looking forward to my trip to Vancouver, where I hope to find Chinese food and be with my real friends. I can now look forward to it. A real well-deserved break from work. SO Singaporean.

It’s Really Below Zero

This morning I cannot open my car door. It was hilarious. The temperature  is below zero. My car door was frozen as the ice had completely sealed the door. My car was completely frozen over. There are icicles hanging under the wing mirrors. The raindrops on my car screen were frozen into a thick layer of a plane of ice. I had to pull and pull to break the ice to open the car door. I looked like I’m breaking into my own car. Finally I heard the ice cracked. The entire car was covered in a thick layer of ice. My windshield wiper is covered in ice. I had to scrap it off.

Icicles were hanging under the car, over the car tires. over the bumper. It’s like your car was put in a freezer and taken out the next day.

And it was raining ice.

It’s definitely an experience.

Below Zero

There’s been so much news on the TV about an impending ice storm that will storm over tonight and roll over till tomorrow. I’m worried but I’m also equally excited to see what’s it’s like. The local Texans enjoy talking about the weather. For us Singaporeans, we asked: "Have you eaten?" Here they asked: "How’s the weather?"

The local Texans cannot handle winter very well. They’re not used to winter and icey weather. They still drive fast on the road despite repeated warnings. It’s still an experience for me driving on these roads. They warned me about the black ice that lays on the road and you practically spin like skiing if your car loses balance.

Today I saw the raindrops on my car turn to ice. Thrilled feeling I must say… for someone who comes from Singapore on the equator it an absolutely interesting experience. Ice is worse than snow. There’s no traction while driving on ice. I don’t even have snow tires. And ice storms are rare in Texas during the winter season. So this is quite an event for me. A rarity. It doesn’t happen often every winter.

Imagine raining ice.

I’ll just drive slow tomorrow. Maybe the roads will close and I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.

Like real. For now.

Little Asians in San Antonio

Staying away from Singapore in a foreign continent for only a mere four months felt like forever when it comes to missing the local food and delicacies. There was a time last week when I walked into the local store and found Milo. You cannot imagine the cheap thrill of finding Milo and Julie’s love letters in the middle of a supermarket in Texas. And Yeo’s chrysanthenum, lychee and herbal tea drinks stacked neatly on a shelf and nobody’s snatching it, just me.

In San Antonio Texas, there are very little Asians. Asians, by definition, means anyone that comes from Asia. I am not defined by the ethnic Chinese, I have to clarify that I am Chinese. Asians defined in the US can be Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Philipinos or mainland Chinese, or anyone from any part of Asia. Basically we are all defined as one. Asian.

We found several supermarkets that are classified as Oriental supermarkets. Even walking into the supermarket, it will be a clutter of food items from all over Asia. So you begin your searching for Chinese items. It will be stacked with items from Vietnam, Philippines or sometimes with the Japanese items. Rice noodles are stacked with noodles from other parts of Asia. The rice that we normally eat from Thailand is specifically called Jasmine Rice here in the US. Once i bought Mexican rice and it didn’t look quite look normal after I cooked it. Or maybe because I just do not know how to perfect the art of cooking rice yet.

So I found a Tim’s Oriental Supermarket that I could get my regular Chinese groceries from. I found a Nin Jiom Pei Pa Kao and bought it, much to my delight. Something from HOME. Something finally familiar. I bought more Yeo’s chrysanthenum and lychee drinks to stock and I bought plum candy and Wang Wang rice crackers. I felt at home for once. A little thrill for a good feeling of home. Finally some familiarity. They also sold some Chu Qian Yi Ting noodles and local vegetables and tofu like back home.

But where’s the chee kuay and the soon kuey? How about the popiah and bak chor mee? Chicken rice anyone? Sigh and the hor fun and pau..Nasi lemak and the Katong laksa? Food that I could just walk around the corner to buy it…

So be it. I’m in the US. I forgot. Again.

A Quiet New Year

It’s a New Year again. This time it is different in a different continent. It has been a quiet pass over for me. Well I worked through it. For the better of it all. It’s been four months in Texas and I’m much settled into my horrid assignment in the hospital that I was allocated to. It’s just an art of adaptation. I still miss the warmth of my Family, my Friends and the Food. Sometimes I still wonder at the loss of transition into this orbit reality of mine.

It’s cold in Texas today. The weather’s freezing at 5 degrees Celsius today but it’s rather refreshing actually. The local Texans had warned me about their impending summer and that I should be prepared for its heat that will be unbearable. But I tried to explain to them that we have summer forever and that my country is on the Equator and as usual they do not quite understand what I am saying, wondering again which province of China I’m talking about. Or that my country is just a dot on the map which eventually didn’t work at all. They all look like they needed a Geography lesson.

Most of the Americans I meet and talked to are mostly indulged in their own country. Some of them believe it is the only country on the globe. Most I speak to do not have passports. They do not travel out of their country, they only travel out of their state. They visit the US again in another state, so maybe I can understand why they don’t know anything about Asia, let alone Singapore. The only Americans who knew about Singapore were those from the military as they have travelled out of the US or there will be some who will remember vaguely the American kid who created a stir in Singapore in 1994. That made Singapore famous in the US. Or only for that matter it seemed. Infamous.

But the Americans who knew about Singapore knew more about the cleanliness and the strict laws, so much so they think they’ll get arrested for just walking down the street.

I often enjoyed telling the Americans that I meet that we hang and caned people and see their reaction after that. Or that we hang on a Friday morning and how the canes are fat bamboo trunks coated with chemical before they are whipped. And how we know the verdict of some homicides even before the trial is over and the verdict is out. Basically we hang them.

Anyway Singapore is too small to be exciting so I start to amuse them, especially our gum laws. I noticed mostly all Americans chew gum and they don’t stop chewing. They just changed another fresh gum and continue to chew again. Amazing. They would often offer to me: "Want a gum?" … "Er, I don’t chew gum." Then they look at me funny. I’m used to it already. They sometimes wonder why I walked so fast around the ward and why I talked too fast. Especially when me and Yu Hong are shouting across the ward. I know I’m forced to slow down, but honestly I abhor the way they take their time. They take their time to do everything… At the supermarket, bank, cashier, post office. Honestly I’ve given up being frustrated. I can’t fight the culture. They’re not even fighting it themselves. In the ward, me and Yu Hong would complete our donkeywork first while they yak and yak and then we will be sitting down later watching them realizing that they have yakked too much. And then it’s our turn to yak and yak. How do we explain kiasu to them?

Or sometimes we’ll be shouting Hokkien vulgarities across the ward and they don’t quite seem to understand what was happening. I enjoy doing that. It feels good. The thought of them never knowing what on earth are we talking about…. So in the American version of me Asian, two Chinese girls scrambling about in the ward, walking and talking too fast. They will never understand the kiasu mentality. And they will never understand the Singaporean mentality.

That makes me proud to be a kiasu Singaporean. I’ll live with that notion.

Adaptation in Lone Star State

The weather has been rather refreshing. Texas is not known to snow but instead, it takes all the cold that Canada generously distributes through the States and finally Texas takes the last remaining share. Of course I was excited to feel air-condition outside a building finally. And walk down the streets with your toes tingling and numbling. And wear coats.

The tide has been settling down slowly. All the tumultous whirlwind has subsided. Adaptation and familiarity has bonded. Basically my lifestyle has changed dramatically. I drive to work and back. I drive to the supermarket and back. I prepare my own meals. Or my friend’s husband will cook for me as you can see, I haven’t perfected cooking rice yet. I don’t hang out in cafes anymore. I hibernate in my own apartment and brew my own coffee. I make my own salads and I do not eat out at all. The only time i was craving for Chinese food and had to be contented with Americanised Chinese Food which is only tantalising to Americans.

I do my own laundry too. Unbelievable.

This is not me. I wish I knew that. Strange how it all became. I used to be a direct paradox of what I am just three months ago. The irony is I have never ate so much grapefruits and bananas as much as I ate in the past three months. The zealousness to wanting to have an adequate intake of fruits is to ensure good salubrity.

Driving away from San Antonio to Austin, America revealed herself of her capacious beauty and voluminous nature. But recent relocation still demanded a lot more adaptation and ease before travelling around the States.

But I have adapted no doubt after a tumultous emotional turmoil, it has been much desirable.

Humdrumness

It’s been three months in Texas. Okie, the last entry was a little grim. My blog has been rather humdrum ab ovo. I shall lighten up a little. I have reached rock bottom and the only way out is up. Life should be better in the States, everyone tells me… I knew that at the back of my head but to get to that statement takes a while and a cobbled path with obstacles. But I’m getting there…. I have to only go forward and enjoy what the US can offer me.

I have my Beetle, my space and my independance. I found my own rustled tranquility. And I have mastered the art of keeping positively sane. And focused.